Michael's Quotes


Weaseling out of things is important to learn; it's what separates us from the animals... Except the weasel.

Exciting stuff

...largely animated film with sequences involving the faces and other body parts of human beings. It is sure to be enjoyed by those whose movie appreciation is defined by the ability to discern that moving pictures and sound are being employed to depict violence.

Review of 'G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra'

Appearance-Conscious Vampires

Sitting through this experience is like driving a tractor in low gear though a sullen sea of Brylcreem.

Review of 'Twilight: New Moon'

Give a Man a Fire

Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.

Very Patriotic

[The pamphlet] was very patriotic. That is, it talked about killing foreigners.


Revolutions always come around again. That's why they're called revolutions.

My Glass Was Full

There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!

On Flying

Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like a banana.


Any sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice.

No Wonder We Never Found Their Leader

[F]ree societies will be allies against these hateful few who have no conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat.


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